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The Sophia bra by Sophia Rose Intimates is an elegant new option for breast cancer survivors. It's also a good choice for any woman who wants a high-quality wire-free bra that delivers support, comfort, and style. The Sophia comes with pockets for prosthetic breast forms, making it ideal for those who have had a single or double mastectomy without reconstruction. And because the pockets lie flat against the insides of the cups, it's also suitable for women who are not using prosthetics and simply prefer to wear bras without underwires. I tried the Sophia in a 34B, as that is the smallest size currently offered (I normally wear a 32B, and I'm on the shallow side). To compensate for the extra room I knew I would have in the cups, I added silicone enhancer forms, which I tucked inside the pockets before trying it on. The enhancers I used are about half an inch thick at the fullest point and add approximately one cup, which in my usual band size would bring me to a 32C. Since one of the sister sizes of 32C is 34B, I figured this bra would be a decent fit on me with the enhancers inserted. I also fastened it on the tightest hook. There is still some extra room in the cups on top, but it's pretty close to fitting. The band feels about how I expected -- slightly loose. I think a 32B would be just about right on me. I love the embroidery and delicate lace edging. The fabric is soft on the skin, but substantial enough to hold its shape (and yours). Perhaps the most flattering feature is the vertical seaming, which divides the cups into three parts to provide structure. That's key for shaping and lift, since this bra has no underwires or side boning. Vertical seams are a softer, more flexible alternative to foam contouring inside the cups. The lack of foam also makes the Sophia more comfortable and breathable than a contour-cup bra. Like other pocketed bras I've tried, this one is full-coverage with a tall center gore and sides that come up higher under the arms than the typical bra. Mastectomy bras are often made this way in order to provide coverage for post-surgical scars. If you aren't a fan of full-coverage styles, you may find that this bra covers more skin than you'd like. But it's beautifully designed and if it were available in smaller sizes, petite women could experiment with the sizing, perhaps ordering down in the band or cup to get the best fit. As of right now, I would recommend this bra for larger-busted women who need more coverage and support. You'll get both with the Sophia, even without the underwires. Sophia Rose Intimates founders Adelene and Carolyn Tan informed me that they plan to introduce a wider range of sizes once they have the funding to do so. Unfortunately, the more sizes a lingerie company makes, the higher the cost to them. I hope they are eventually able to offer a 32B in this lovely bra so I can wear it. You can order the Sophia bra on the Sophia Rose Intimates website , in Deep Violet (shown above) or Bright Peony (pale pink). The current size range is 34B to 38D. #wirefree #SophiaRoseIntimates #breastcancer #mastectomy #34B #breastforms #lace #brareviews

Tiffany: I'm 22, and I was last measured as a 36M in UK sizing. I was first properly sized about a year ago thanks to the help of the lovely Reddit community members of A Bra That Fits and Big Boob Problems. Before then, I was wearing bras from Lane Bryant because they were the largest I could find. Those bras were far too large in the band and the cups were still too small, so I had a lot of spillage out of the tops of the cups. And on top of that, I had grooves and bad shoulder pain from bra straps supporting the full weight of my breasts.... which are very heavy. Though, since then, I've been properly fitted and shown the different brands that sell bras in sizes closer to what I should be wearing. So I've had to do a lot of sister sizing and making my own adjustments. Bras Outside the Box: How has being large-busted affected your body image? Do you feel happy with your size, or does it cause problems for you (or both)? T: My breast size has caused me to have quite a few issues with my body image. Most of these issues were during middle school and high school. I've always had a pretty small frame, but with a large cup size, so I looked bigger around the torso than I really was. And the fact that I wasn't properly sized and wore baggy tops to try to hide my breasts didn't help. I wanted to wear a lot of the types of clothes my friends were wearing, but I couldn't due to my breast size. The teasing from other students and all the attention I got because of my breasts made me really hate them. But over the past few years, I've learned style tips and tricks for larger bust sizes to help compliment the rest of my body which took some of the attention away from my chest. So while my breasts have grown quite a bit over the past couple years, I've learned to love them, even with the problems they bring. I still have issues finding the proper bras in my size along with tops that flatter my body type. But at least now I know what I'm looking for. BOTB: When you got bras from Lane Bryant, were you fitted there or did you find them on your own? Have you ever had a good experience being fitted for a bra in person? T: I was actually not fitted at Lane Bryant. When I first ventured into one of their stores for the first time, I didn't understand the importance of a properly fitting bra. So I didn't feel the need to ask for a fitting. I grabbed one that looked like it would fit, tried it on, made my purchase, and left. Looking back, I probably should have been wearing a 36J or JJ, but was wearing 42Hs from Lane Bryant. Unfortunately, I've never had a good bra fitting experience. I went in for one at a local shop recently just out of curiosity, and was given the result 34K... which is not even close to my actual size. BOTB: What's the best bra you're wearing these days, now that you are in the proper size? T: The best bra i have right now is from Ewa Michalak. I just recently bought a bra from them in a 36M and I love it! It's from their FB (full bust) line which I believe is one of their newer styles. The wide straps and the strong material they use for the cups makes it great for heavy breasts like mine. But because of their price, I only have one. BOTB: What are the sister sizes you can wear, and what are the alterations you've had to make in order for those bras to fit correctly? T: The sister size I normally buy is 40L, and I get those from Bravissimo. I buy them in the large band and then give them to my mom who shortens the band for me. She's a lot better at it than I am! The only issue is that the L cups I have run more like KKs, so I still do a bit of quad-boobing when I wear them. But I still get more support from them than when I was wearing the Lane Bryants. BOTB: Do you have any advice for other women with a similar body type about how to get the best fit? T: I don't have much advice since I'm still trying to figure things out myself, but I would have to say, don't give up. There are a lot of resources out there and a lot of good people who have been in this position and can point you in the right direction. And while it seems that our body type isn't well-represented, which is kinda true, I have seen progress, and hopefully it won't be long before finding clothes for us is commonplace. #36M #40L #alterations #Bravissimo #EwaMichalak #bodyimage #largebust #brafitting #36J #36JJ #personalstories

Megan: Starting when I was around 14, I have always been tiny everywhere except in the chest. I'm five feet tall and 110 pounds, and my bra size is 28HH [editor's note: this is her UK size, equivalent to a US 28K]. I'm 26 and am finally now starting to feel good about myself, but for many years I hated my chest and had no clue what sort of bra I should be wearing, or what my real cup size was. Bras Outside the Box: How was your body image related to the size of your breasts? M: They made me feel out of proportion and discouraged about my appearance. I considered a breast reduction but never went through with it. I thought my boobs were freakish-looking because of how small I am everywhere else. My mom has the exact same body type, petite and large-busted, and she always taught me that I should wear things that made them look smaller -- mainly sports bras that crushed them down. I feel like she may have wanted to protect me from getting too much of the wrong kind of attention. BOTB: When did you first discover a bra that fit properly, and how did you feel about it? M: About eight months ago I was in a boutique with my sister so she could get fitted for a bra to wear for her wedding. The sales lady asked if I was interested in trying something on too and I decided why not go for it, so she brought me four bras that were bigger than anything I had ever worn. I figured there was no way these would fit, because they looked huge, but then all but one ended up being too small! But the one that did fit, I loved. This was a 30H Parfait by Affinitas bra, black lace with bows on the straps. It looked and felt great on my body, and I found it was liberating to wear something that was not a sports bra and wasn't meant to squash me, but was instead designed for support. My sister and the sales lady both thought it looked amazing. So I bought it and then wanted more like it, because I soon got sick of my old sports bras, now that I had this one that actually fit! I searched online and found out that I am actually a size 28HH due to having a very small back, which means you need to purchase bras with a smaller band and bigger cup to get the support you need. The support needs to come from the band, not from the straps or the cups. BOTB: Are you frustrated with the limited selection of bras available in your size? M: I am still getting used to wearing bras that actually fit me. I have four now, and the one thing that I don't like is how expensive they are, but I am convinced it's worth the expense to feel and look the way I want to. If I have to spend more to get that, fine, but if I need a new bra it's not like I can stop in at Target on my way home from work and pick one up. But that doesn't bother me too much because I end up with better quality bras that I love, instead of more practical cheap ones. I'm saving up for more. And they will last longer too. BOTB: What's your favorite bra that you're wearing these days? M: I got it online, and it's another bra from Parfait called Charlotte in a 28HH. It comes in different colors so my next bra purchase will probably be another Charlotte in a color I don't have yet. BOTB: Is there any advice you can offer other women with a figure similar to yours? M: Having a good bra will make you feel better about yourself and it's worth spending more if you have to, even if that means you need to save up for it. You are worth the extra expense. I feel like the best thing you can do for yourself if you have a bigger chest is not to try and make it look smaller, but instead, work with what you've got so that you end up with something that gives you the right amount of support. Go to a boutique and get fitted, and don't be surprised if you are given a bigger size than you thought. Keep an open mind and try on the bras in that size, because you might end up loving them! #28HH #30H #largebust #ParfaitbyAffinitas #petite #personalstories #bodyimage

Renee is one of a handful of lovely small-busted women I connected with through my previous blog, 32AA Bra. She wrote several reviews of petite lingerie for me, and was always happy to take the time to help get the word out about available options for readers having trouble finding sophisticated, attractive bras and lingerie in small sizes. Thanks for sharing your story, Renee! Bras Outside the Box : What's it like for you, knowing that most department stores and chain lingerie shops don't carry bras in your size for adult women? Renee : It is frustrating. When it comes time for me to get new bras, I have learned to no longer waste my time perusing stores like Victoria’s Secret, Aerie, or the intimates section of any department store. The cups in a bra might fit me, but the band is always too large. My bra size is 28/30A, and the smallest bra size most stores carry is 32A. BOTB : When you find a bra that fits well, how does it affect the way you feel about yourself? R : I feel much more comfortable, and therefore more confident. Prior to my “bras-for-petite-women-actually-exist” epiphany, it was always a source of anxiety for me that I would bend over and unintentionally bare myself to the whole world since the bras I was wearing were never cut to fit my small frame -- the cups weren’t actually supporting my breasts, but were more or less just sitting there. In order for a bra to properly fit a petite frame, the proportions of the bra must be cut on a smaller scale, i.e. smaller band, smaller cups, and smaller distance between the bra cups. BOTB : Describe your best and worst bra shopping experiences (or, one time you had success and one time you didn't -- in real life or online). R: Well, I can classify all of my bra shopping experiences in stores as negative since I have never found a bra that properly fit me and which I like in a store (pre-teen/teeny bopper bras aren’t really my thing). I have had both good and bad experiences trying on bras which I ordered online. I have been happy to see that within the last few years retailers like Victoria’s Secret and Aerie have been expanding their lines to carry some size 30A bras (the rub is that you can only purchase these bras online). However, I was extremely disappointed with the Victoria’s Secret PINK Wear Everywhere Push-Up Bra in size 30A because it fit me well and is reasonably priced, but was extremely uncomfortable as I could feel the underwire digging into my ribcage. The Aerie bras in size 30A which fit me well have less padding than I prefer, and their more padded styles in size 30A are too big on me, so those bras have been another no-go for me. To their credit, though, Aerie at least has most of their 30A bras available to try on in stores if you ask a sales associate. The Little Bra Company has been an absolute godsend for me. I remember the first time I tried on TLBC’s Angela t-shirt bra -- for the first time in my life, I found a bra that actually fit and supported me enough to give me cleavage! I have since tried other styles from this line and have developed some preferences regarding what sort of back I like on a bra, amount of padding, and whether or not the straps are adjustable. It is amazing to even have the opportunity to have “options,” because before finding this brand I felt that I had no hope of ever finding one properly fitting bra in one style, never mind having multiple styles to choose from! BOTB : Are there bras you can recommend to other women with a similar figure to yours? R: The Little Bra Company bras are the best in my opinion. I resent that they are more expensive than the majority of bras from other retailers; however, I was thrilled to recently discover that TLBC recently started selling bras through Target. The line is called Ariette Petite Lingerie , and the prices are much more similar to what you would find at Victoria’s Secret or Aerie. Aerie bras are good quality and they offer a plethora of styles, so I do think their bras are worth checking out. Personally, I would most likely be purchasing most of my bras from Aerie if they started carrying size 28 band. I hit the jackpot with Aerie when it comes to sports bras—I love their sports bras in size XXS! I have also been exploring strapless bra options since I will be a bridesmaid in my cousin’s wedding this March. I own a strapless bra from TLBC (the style is called Sascha), and I am going to try the NuBra adhesive bra cups. I have read good reviews of the NuBra (specifically the Super Padded NuBra) on petite fashion websites. BOTB: What would you say to another woman with your bra size who feels insecure about her body because she doesn't fit the typical definition of "sexy?" R : My worth is not found in lies sold by retailers like Victoria’s Secret who some years ago claimed in a campaign that they have a bra for “every body" -- clearly they don’t, because at that point they did not carry one bra in a band size smaller than 32! If you are having difficulty finding bras that fit, keep searching. Perseverance is attractive, and you may be surprised at what you find. You are reading this for a reason! And you are beautiful. Image: Diane petite bra by The Little Bra Company. Want to share your bra story? Please contact me! #28A #30A #petite #smallbusted #TheLittleBraCompany #personalstories #brafitting #Aerie #VictoriasSecret #Ariette

I spoke with Kate (not her real name), a reader who is dealing with conditions that cause chronic pain, about her search for bras she can wear comfortably. Her size is 32C. Here, she talks about what she looks for in a bra and why underwires don't work for her. BOTB: What is your disability, and how does it affect your ability to wear a bra comfortably? Kate: I have three medical conditions that affect my bra fitting: chronic fatigue syndrome (CFS), fibromyalgia, and acquired partial lipodystrophy (APL). The CFS and fibro keep me in bed most of the day, put me in tons of pain, and make my skin extra sensitive. Laying on pillows makes bras ride up, and pain and sensitivity makes me less tolerant of slight discomforts in a bra. The APL means that I don't have fat on my torso, so there is no fat between my ribs and where wires are on a wired bra. I get huge bruises even from wired bras that I'm told "fit well." BOTB: Do you feel like you can talk with bra fitters about your condition (either in real life or online), and have they been helpful to you in finding something that works? K: I tell bra fitters relevant parts of my conditions. People are nice, but often don't know how to respond, or run out of ideas for me fast. Most wire-free bras (especially in the smaller sizes) are either sports bras or look like training bras. Also, bras in the smaller sizes seem to have huge padding. I just want a normal-looking, pretty, and functional bra that fits well and doesn't injure me. Usually people just give up. A Bra That Fits on Reddit helped me find one bra, and that's the only bra I've ever had that fit. BOTB: If you could have a bra that offered everything you were looking for in terms of both comfort and style, what would that look like? K: My ideal bra in terms of comfort and style would be one that is wireless, doesn't hurt me, keeps my boobs from moving around too much, doesn't ride up, allows my boobs to look their natural size (not padded), keeps the world from knowing when I get cold, and looks good under a t-shirt or dress. As my boobs are quite shallow and wide, it's also nice if there's some support along the sides to keep them from flopping sideways. BOTB: What's your favorite bra that you're wearing these days, if there is one, and why do you like it? K: My one and only successful bra is the Natori Yogi. Not beautiful, but very comfortable and functional. Want to share your bra story? Please contact me! #disabled #chronicpain #wirefree #personalstories #Natori #32C

Recently I came across a useful visual guide to removing the underwires on a bra. You might want to consider removing the wires on your bras if you find them painful, like the small-busted woman who posted this guide; she has a hard time wearing underwires because of the way her ribcage is shaped. Her method of taking out the wires does not require any sewing, which is great for those of us who suck at it. Be aware that with the wires taken out, the fit of the bra cups may change, which you can see in the before-and-after photos of this woman in a Natori Feathers bra. I spoke to her to find out if there was any more information she had to share about this process, and she said the band still fits the same after removing the wires. She also said that she had previously tried wire-free bras but found that the cups were too close together, and the Feathers bra was a better fit for her shape. If, like her (and me), your breasts are shallow and wide-set and you don't need much support, you might actually prefer how your bras fit without underwires. It's certainly worth a try in the name of comfort. You may notice a bit of a flattening effect, because the wires help maintain the structure and volume of the bra cups. Without the wires and assuming you have the proper band size, the cups will be pulled outwards when you fasten the bra in back. If you have very narrow and/or close-set breasts, you might find that without the wires, your bra cups extend too far on the outer sides and there isn't enough volume at the center of the bra. As a result, the center gore may not tack, which means it's not an ideal fit. You can try a larger cup size to compensate for this. It's always best to hand-wash your bras, but with the wires removed, you'll want to make sure the edges of the holes don't stretch or fray (unless you decide to stitch them), so don't put your de-wired bras in the washing machine. Hand-washing in a gentle detergent like Soak should help make sure they stay in good shape longer.

The UK lingerie brand Royce is notable for its attention to both comfort and style. All Royce bras are wire-free, which is ideal for women who find underwires difficult to tolerate. I do wear underwire bras, but they are not the most comfortable for me. Like many small-busted women, I really don't need the support of an underwire. I'm always happy to discover a wire-free bra that still provides some coverage and shaping, because although I am a fan of bralettes, they don't do much other than look cute. I received the Royce Enhance 1069 bra in black and cream (above). It's also available in rose and cream, shown at right. Royce markets this bra as a solution for petite small-breasted women seeking a fuller shape under clothing, as well as those who have had mastectomies and want enhancement without needing to wear prosthetic breast forms. Sizing is by band only (32, 34, 36, 38), and all sizes are meant to fit AA, A, and B cups. The bra is described as "super-padded" and is designed to make your breasts look two cup sizes larger. The really unique thing about this style is that it is not a push-up bra; it doesn't use push-up "bump pads" inside the cups to enhance the bust. Instead, the added size comes from a layer of padding encased in the bra cup on the outside (between the cup lining next to the skin and the external casing), so that it covers the entire breast. This is an interesting approach because it means your breasts aren't squeezed up to the top of the cups in the Royce 1069, and clearly it is not a bra that is intended to boost cleavage. The alternative approach to padding, as far as I'm concerned, is a reason to like this bra... at least in theory. It offers increased size without underwires, and without that unpleasant squish that often happens with push-up bras. So far, so good. However, there are drawbacks. This is sort of like wearing two prosthetic breasts over your own chest, but instead of having the prosthetic breast forms inside the bra cups in pockets (as they are normally worn with mastectomy bras), the prosthetics are inside the bra cups themselves. Except, the change in size is actually not quite as dramatic as you would get with real prosthetic breasts; I wouldn't say that this bra really adds two cup sizes, which is a relief to me personally, but may be a disappointment to those of you who want that. I'd say it makes me look about one cup size larger when worn under a t-shirt. Another not-so-great thing is the feel of the cups: the padding is very stiff. When I'm wearing it, the cups don't move with me, and it doesn't look natural. It looks, honestly, like I'm wearing a heavily padded bra. The band and straps are comfortable enough, but it's impossible for me to feel at ease in a bra with cups this rigid... it's just too much like armor. It's also possible that I'm being squeezed too much in these cups, because right now I measure a size 32B (I tried a 32 in the Royce 1069). Perhaps it would feel less uncomfortable if I still wore a 32AA or 32A-- it may be a better choice for women with those cup sizes than it is for me at this point. The sizing in the band seems accurate. To sum up: if what you want is a bra that makes you look fuller without an underwire, this one is certainly worth considering. It's not perfect, but it's not awful either. The lace trim and center bow are quite pretty, and I would say it's above-average in style compared to similar wire-free bras (which are notorious for looking matronly and covering too much skin). Disclosure: I received this bra at no cost in exchange for a review. #Royce #mastectomy #smallbusted #wirefree #brareviews #32A #32AA #32B #breastforms

Farrell Friedenberg is the owner of Jay Ann Intimates , a shop in Huntingdon Valley, PA that fits breast cancer survivors for specialized bras and camis designed to accommodate mastectomies or lumpectomies, from immediately after surgery and onward. I spoke to Jackie K., a customer at Jay Ann Intimates, about her experience there. She had a right-breast mastectomy without reconstruction and bought the Amoena Lara bra in size 40D, along with a prosthesis (Style 1022 American Breast Care Lightweight Asymmetric, size 8R) to wear inside it. Jackie says: My first experience at Jay Ann Intimates was very, very easy. I was made to feel very comfortable during the fitting. It can be a little intimidating especially your first time out for a fitting. Farrell and her team are professionally trained in this area and it shows. I was and still am a shy person when it comes to undressing in front of strangers...friends for that matter too. Anyway, I find it very easy to purchase a prosthesis with Farrell and her co-workers at her shop. Even the paperwork is done in a quick and easy manner..they know their stuff. I also interviewed Farrell to find out more about what her job entails. Here, she shares what goes into the process of fitting a woman who has or has had breast cancer. Bras Outside the Box : How is fitting a customer dealing with breast cancer different from a standard bra fitting? Farrell Friedenberg : First, there are questions: did the woman have a full mastectomy or a partial (also known as a lumpectomy)? Was there any reconstruction? Any radiation treatments- even if it was years ago? Because we are a retail lingerie shop as well as a DME (durable medical equipment) provider, we fit women in all different stages of their breast cancer journey. If the woman is missing a breast, or part of a breast, we fit for a breast prosthesis as well as pocket bras. The pocket holds the prosthesis (also called a breast form) secure to the woman's chest wall and restores her former symmetry. Women who have had reconstruction can also still be uneven after the surgery. Radiation can affect the breast size even years later. And most importantly, post-mastectomy products are a covered insurance benefit . BOTB: What are the bras (and camis) you most often recommend for breast cancer and/or mastectomy/lumpectomy, and why are these your top picks? FF : Immediately following surgery, the Amoena 2105 Post Surgery Camisole (now called Michelle) is my first choice, as it has two velcro attached drain pouches and is padded with lightweight puffs for comfort. [Editor's note: see this article for an explanation of how post-surgery camisoles work.] A good basic go-to bra is the American Breast Care 103 . It has a great fit, is very soft and comfortable, and is available in an extensive size range and a variety of colors. For a smooth-cup t-shirt bra, I would recommend the Lara and Mona bras by Amoena, and the Tonya bra by Anita . In full-bust bras, the Safina by Anita is a good choice. Other products I recommend include the Amoena Valetta cami , and swimsuits by Amoena and Anita. Both companies make fashionable swimwear with pockets for breast forms. [Editor's note: see the gallery at the end of this post for photos of the above products.] BOTB : Which items available for breast cancer patients are typically covered by insurance? FF : Everyone should know their benefits. Every survivor should know where they can be fit by an in-network provider. Many women have plans that have yearly deductibles and co-pays. Some plans only provide coverage if you go to a particular provider. Typically, insurance covers the following: two post-surgical camisoles for the time immediately following surgery until they can be fit for a bra and prosthesis, which is about four to six weeks after surgery; two to four bras per year; one silicone breast prosthesis per side, every other year; and one non-silicone breast prosthesis per side, every six months. All products must be "medically necessary." Therefore, we require a new prescription every year for our files. BOTB : Is there anything else you'd like to share about your experience fitting this population? FF : As a third-generation business owner and certified mastectomy fitter, I am honored to make someone smile again. The connection we make with customers spans over three generations. We fit grandmothers, daughters and granddaughters at all stages of their lives. #breastcancer #mastectomy #lumpectomy #breastforms #prosthesis #insurance #Amoena #brafitting #Anita #AmericanBreastCare #camisoles #postsurgery #personalstories #40D

AJ: So...physically, I'm very skinny and small-chested, currently sized out on the low end not only of most bras but also most clothes. I used to be a competitive athlete, with a very different body shape as a result, so I've had a variety of fit challenges through the years, and I have plenty of Feelings about that (the strongest of which is, to misquote Shakespeare, the fault lies not with us, but with our clothes). The fit problems, along with my style preferences, have led me to sew most of my own clothes, including underwear. Because bra fitting and design is so challenging, I got pretty interested in it and started reading up--thus how I found Bras Outside the Box, Reddit's A Bra That Fits, and other resources. I'm also a bit gender-weird. I wear a variety of top-half-underwear including both compression tops/binders and "regular" bras. I don't wear anything padded, which limits my choices a lot, especially in my size range. Manufacturers seem to assume every person with a smaller chest wants mega-padding; maybe they're right, I don't know, but I seem to see a lot of women online who bemoan the fact that there aren't a lot of real-bra (as opposed to bralette) options for small-chested women who don't want to be heavily padded, especially at <$100. This is especially true in the small-band/small-bust combo, I think, unless you're both able to fit girls' sizes, with their close-set cups and straps and shallow profiles, and willing to wear girls' styles, which a lot of grown-ups aren't. Bras Outside the Box: What does "gender-weird" mean for you personally? AJ: I use that term with tongue firmly in cheek...I haven't really found a single term for my gender that feels totally comfortable. Gender-weird is just a play on "gender-queer", which is what I hear the youngsters say these days. It feels like that term belongs to a younger generation than mine. Before there was queer, there was just plain weird! In a perfect world I'd be androgynous, except that usually when people use that word, they actually mean a person of one perceived gender who's using presentation details (clothes, makeup, mannerisms, etc.) of another gender. When I say androgynous, I mean that you might look at me and think, huh, wonder whether that person's male or female. (And since we're in a hypothetical perfect world here, this thought would be followed by a shrug of indifference.) In terms of presentation in the non-hypothetical, non-perfect world, I present differently depending both on my mood and what I'm doing (bowing to social norms at work is the biggest thing that causes me to sway a bit more feminine). My personal spectrum probably centers somewhere just to the masculine side of Katherine-Hepburn-in-a-suit. BOTB: Where do you get your binders? I know next to nothing about these -- are there particular brands or sources you would recommend for others interested in trying them? AJ: So, I do have a couple of big-picture tips before I talk sources. One: safety first. Binding improperly can be dangerous to your breathing, which is no joke, so check out these guides on how to bind safely: Your Friendly Neighborhood Binding Guide Tips to Bind Your Chest Safely Binding: Creating a Male-Looking Chest Binding 101: Brands, Care Tips, and Health Two, and this might sound a little airy-fairy, but as someone who's just about old enough to qualify as an elder, my words of wisdom are: if you choose to bind, don't do it because you hate something about yourself, your body, and/or the way you look—do it as a way to love the person you are, and to manifest that person a little more visibly. You only get one physical body in this life, and it's stupid-easy to hate and abuse it for all it isn’t. The more courageous path is to use it as a tool to manifest your awesomeness in the world. All right, pep talk over; moving on. I've tried a few binding options, including compression sports bras, bandeaus, short tops, and tanks. All have advantages and disadvantages. These suckers are really tight, and therefore really hard to get in and out of. If you have arm, shoulder, neck or back injuries or immobility, I'd suggest a bandeau-style that you can fasten around your waist and then hike up. If you're a wheelchair user or spend lots of time in hard chairs, I'd suggest something with velcro on the side--those hooks and eyes are mighty uncomfortable against a chair, and pullovers require olympic-level wriggling to get in and out. In general, the easiest way to get into a pull-on binder is to pull it up your legs, rather than down over your shoulders. Again there’re lots of guides online. My personal favorite is a GC2B tank binder, which is US-made of a soft and silky material that binds well, has low-profile edges that disappear pretty well under a thick t-shirt, and isn't tooooo torturous to get in and out of. They have really good customer service as well. BlueStockings Boutique is a great source for a variety of options (not just binders, but also some in-betweens), some of which are definitely aimed at the gender-nonconforming, and it's a woman- and queer-owned business. I’ve also been eyeballing Origami Customs on Etsy, which provides hand-built gender-spectrum friendly undies, including binders and gaffs. I haven't shopped here, since I sew myself, but it’s awesome to have that resource available if you aren't feeling the mass-market options, or if they don’t work for your body for any reason. BOTB: When you look for bras, are you seeking something that works similar to a binder, or do you sometimes want to wear something without compression? AJ: I don't wear major compression all the time. I think there’s a perception that binding is an all-or-nothing deal, but it’s not. Like shaving your legs, it’s a choice you have to make over and over again! Sometimes I don't need to bind (thank you, vests and winter layers), and sometimes my chronic illness kicks up and I can't. And sometimes I don't want to! Compression can be uncomfortable, or it can feel tucked-in and secure, depending on the day. My top-undies drawer consists of binders, sports bras, camisoles, bralettes, and, yes, a couple of "real" bras. (A friend of mine calls them "big girl bras". Ha!) Sometimes I wear nothing at all, but even for my small chest, it’s not that comfortable to run, jump, or hurry in that mode, especially since I’m used to some containment. BOTB: Which bras have you found that fit and work well with your style, if any? AJ: The first time I put on a bra I’d made—it didn’t fit, of course, and was actually a bit too small, which I didn’t even think was POSSIBLE—it felt amazing. I had never put on a bra that actually touched fabric to my whole breast; my bras had always gaped or stood away from my chest somewhere. That experience convinced me to keep pursuing ‘regular’ bras as an option. Someone on reddit described that feeling as “a boob hug”, which just cracked me up. I've had no luck with ready-to-wear bras, in part because I'm picky about fit; in part because I absolutely won't wear push-ups; and in part because I have a size and shape that's really not served by the mass market. A Bra That Fits is full of complaints from my fellow small-band-small-bust people re: grading of smaller sizes, and the dearth of shallow, wide, unpadded options for smaller busts. The bras available in my size generally have wires either one or two sizes too narrow, which is very uncomfortable. 30Bs typically have wires in the 4.25-4.5" width range. Anything less than 4.75" is torturous for me, and 5" is about perfect. Add to this a bony and slightly concave sternum that means full-length wires bruise and hurt like crazy, and, yeah, I'm not very fittable in ready-to-wear. I'm very curious about the French brand Ysé, which appears to have small-size, unlined bras, but I haven't been really flush enough to order, with the potential for international returns...though perhaps now that the Euro is down I should re-think that decision! BOTB: Anything else you'd like to share about yourself or your search for a good bra? AJ: It's strange how philosophical I've been feeling about the search for an undergarment I don't even feel any particular connection to, beyond an intellectual one in the challenge of its construction. I guess my biggest lesson on bra fit is that if something doesn't fit, or if you feel like you'll never find anything, it's not because there's something wrong with your body. It's because of marketing, and statistics, and manufacturing imprecision, and a whole bucket of other factors that go into putting ready-made bras on the shelves. Not only that, but it's OK to want what you want, whether that's mash-em-flat or cakes-on-a-plate, no matter whether your physical body matches that or not, no matter if it changes over time or from day to day. Want to share your bra story? Please contact me! #genderqueer #28C #30B #binders #smallbusted #brafitting #compression #personalstories #androgynous #crossgender

I've always had issues with push-up bras. First of all, they tend to be marketed towards small-busted women who want to look bigger, and I find that problematic. Why should we look bigger? Why would we want to? Is there really any benefit in forcing cleavage we wouldn't have otherwise? This is especially true for me, as I am one of those women who can't create cleavage without also enduring significant pain. I've got wide-set breasts, and these girls require a whole lot of push in order to get anywhere near each other. In the process, I end up with wires poking me in all the wrong places and mattress-like foam padding that makes my breasts all sweaty even in cold weather. I just think it's pointless, and I'm over it. So why am I writing about this? I've noticed that there are some small-busted women, especially young women, who feel they must wear a heavily padded push-up bra every day in order to look acceptable. It's a body image thing, not a style thing. This really makes me want to shove a bunch of flattering, beautiful, whisper-thin bralettes at them and say: "Wear these, whether you feel okay in them or not, and by the end of the first day you'll realize you're fine the way you are and you deserve to be comfortable. Plus, all women have nipples and it's not a crime if they show through your shirt." But then I think, well, I don't want to push (see what I did there?) my agenda onto others who don't feel the same way. The only thing I really want to do is gently suggest that you don't actually NEED extra padding or cleavage in order to be attractive. If you like it, and it doesn't make you wish you could just get home already and rip off that monstrosity, go right ahead. Another thing I want to say about push-up bras is that, depending on the level of padding, you may need a larger cup size. You're not going to get the same extreme cleavage effect if you go up a cup, but the bra may fit better overall, and that's always a good thing. #bodyimage #smallbusted #pushup #widesetbreasts #rants #bralettes

My next bra story comes from a woman who has developed considerable expertise in bra fitting, based on her own experience as a size 36L. Danielle helps other women find their best fit through her blog, Rolls and Curves. BOTB: What are the brands that do make your size, and which bras do you wear? Danielle: The only two brands that actually make my size are Ewa Michalak and Bravissimo. I cannot wear Ewa Michalak because I have wide and short breasts, and Ewa Michalak bras are made for someone with narrow and average to tall breasts. I usually sister size into brands like Panache, Elomi, Goddess, Flirtelle, and Curvy Kate. I used to wear Cleos when I could fit into them. In the past year, I've grown from a 36J up to a 36L, so I've literally seen my options taper off before my eyes. Thus far, my favorite bras have been: Panache -- Tango, Ariza, Melody Fullcup, Rhapsody Cleo -- Marcie, Meg Elomi -- Caitlyn, Rita Goddess -- Keira Curvy Kate -- Gia, Daily Boost Flirtelle -- Lena padded bra BOTB: What are the sister sizes that sometimes work for you? D: I measure a 36L, and currently own bras in a 36K and 38JJ (with one Flirtelle padded bra in a 36JJ that I can't bear to part with). I have yet to purchase bras in my new size just in case my recent growth spurt isn't permanent and they go back to a 36K. My next step is trying out Bravissimo in a 36KK, 38KK, and 36L. BOTB: Are you happy with these bras after you've made the necessary alterations? D: I'm usually happy with my bras after I alter them, but there's some bras that couldn't be saved due to a glaring construction issue that I didn't feel comfortable fixing on my own. BOTB: Do you make the alterations yourself, or have them done by a tailor? If you alter them yourself, can you describe or show in photos what kind of alterations you make and how they are done? (Readers of a similar size and shape to you might find this helpful to know.) D: I alter all my bras myself because I can rarely keep bras in my rotation for more than a few months at a time, and I don't want to spend extra money on my bras. My usual first step with a bra is to see if the straps are fully adjustable. If they are, I don't touch them unless the tightened setting isn't tight enough. If they are not, I have to alter them to keep them from slipping off my shoulders. What I do is fold the beginning of the strap over onto itself, and sew the sandwiched fabric. This shortens the strap without having to cut it in case I need to remove the alterations. Other common alterations that I may perform are narrowing the gore (makes bra less east-west, keeps the wires from poking) and taking in gaping lace (when the lace rests above the full part of my breast and has no tissue to fill it out). I've noticed that I've had to rely on alterations more often after passing the J cup barrier, because many brands tend to scale bras horribly in the upper end of their size range. BOTB: How do you feel in the Reddit forum A Bra That Fits, wearing an unusual size? You said in response to my post requesting stories from women who wear sizes outside the mainstream lingerie market: "Finally I am relevant here." Do you feel excluded from the community because of your physical size/shape? D: While I found out about proper bra fitting from ABTF and generally love the community, I do feel more and more left out the larger my cup size is. This is not an uncommon sentiment shared by other women of "unusual" sizes, and it was even brought up many times in the demographic survey from a few months ago. The quality and quantity of advice you receive is better if you're under a 36 band, under an H cup, and have a narrow and projected shape. Many plus sized women are left to a small selection of brands, and since the average member of ABTF has little experience with these size ranges (the most common size is 30F), they may recommend a bra based on size rather than the shape of the person's breasts. At my size, 36L, I'm always told to try Ewa Michalak bras even though I'd have to size up to a 36N to get the correct cup width. There's little focus on brands that aren't on-trend, and it can be grating to constantly receive the same inaccurate advice. When I was still unsure about my size and what worked for me, I became discouraged very fast and wouldn't post fit checks on ABTF because of the limited responses I'd receive. If you have at least one bra that fits and you'd like to find more, I'd recommend comparing bra measurements on Bratabase. With time you can figure out exactly what measurements will work for you. BOTB: What motivates you to continue to look for a bra that fits, in spite of all the challenges? In other words, what makes you feel good about wearing the right bra? D: Wearing a bra that fits is a necessity for me. Before discovering ABTF, I was crammed into Lane Bryant 40Hs (UK 40G) and had a slew of health problems along with a lack of self-esteem. My back, neck, and shoulders were in constant agony, I had pimples and rashes around and under my breasts, I had huge grooves in my shoulders, my posture was horrible, and I couldn't find suitable clothing, I would come down with a migraine every day, and I hated my body. It doesn't help that I have scoliosis, so my back is already under a lot of stress. I wear bras that support me because if I didn't, I wouldn't be able to hold down a job or have any semblance of a normal life. It's extremely difficult and expensive to find the correct bra, but it's a lot easier and cheaper than going to the doctor for pain and skin conditions due to wearing the wrong bra. BOTB: Anything else you want to share about yourself or your search for a good bra? D: Even though my search for a bra has been difficult and expensive, it was so worth it to be able to feel comfortable in my skin. I never thought I'd actually learn to love my body, and while my self-esteem isn't perfect I've definitely improved since finding some decent bras in my size. It's been incredibly therapeutic for me to help other women find bras in the correct size, and blogging has opened up a Pandora's box of information about bra fitting, body image issues, and the industry itself. I definitely feel more knowledgeable about bras in general after using all my free time to research and write about them. If you're reading this and have struggled with finding bras in your size and shape, don't give up. Most women will be able to find a collection of bras to fit them. Feel free to ask for advice on A Bra That Fits, Bratabase, and any and all available resources. Sometimes it helps to get a few opinions before deciding if a bra is right for you. If you see a blogger who's a similar size and shape as you, don't hesitate to contact them. Most bloggers are incredibly warm and helpful individuals who have a true passion for helping others. Want to share your bra story? Please contact me! #36L #alterations #Bravissimo #CurvyKate #Panache #Elomi #Cleo #Goddess #Flirtelle #bodyimage #38JJ #36K #36JJ #brafitting #personalstories #EwaMichalak

Many thanks to Andrea for contributing Bras Outside the Box's first personal bra story! I hope to post many more of these. If you'd like to be included, please contact me for a list of questions. BOTB: What has been the biggest challenge for you in finding a bra that fits properly? Andrea: My problem isn't so much the bra size as it is that I am uneven, so one of the cups is always either too tight or too big. I am a full B cup on the left and barely an A on the right. When I checked my size with the calculator on Reddit, it said I should be in a 36C. I don't think that could be right though. I hate when the band feels too tight so I will probably not be trying any size 36 bras. BOTB: Have you ever felt self-conscious or had body image issues as a result of being uneven? A: Not too much because I am an athlete and that's where I get my confidence from about my body. I don't try to be sexy in the usual sense. I am a strong girl who does not need to have boobs that are the same size in order to swim or run. But having said that, there are times when I am lost with finding clothes and bras that are right for my body and it would be nice if that was not so difficult. BOTB: Do you have any tips for other readers who are built like you? Which bras would you recommend? A: What I normally do is wear a stretchy bra or bralette so the cups can fit me on both sides. I hate bras with shaped cups because then you get one with big gaps and one that is way tight. My favorite is a cotton bralette from Calvin Klein which I have three of, and I wear those a lot. I have a Wacoal b.tempt'd bralette [the Lace Kiss] that is stunning but it doesn't fit me as well, but I do wear that sometimes. I would say, if you can go braless do that, but sometimes depending on what kind of top I'm wearing it can't work. I wear a bralette about 60% of the time, and the other days I don't wear anything. Want to share your bra story? Please contact me! #personalstories #38B #unevenbreasts #CalvinKlein #btemptd