Farrell Friedenberg is the owner of Jay Ann Intimates , a shop in Huntingdon Valley, PA that fits breast cancer survivors for specialized bras and camis designed to accommodate mastectomies or lumpectomies, from immediately after surgery and onward. I spoke to Jackie K., a customer at Jay Ann Intimates, about her experience there. She had a right-breast mastectomy without reconstruction and bought the Amoena Lara bra in size 40D, along with a prosthesis (Style 1022 American Breast Care Lightweight Asymmetric, size 8R) to wear inside it. Jackie says: My first experience at Jay Ann Intimates was very, very easy. I was made to feel very comfortable during the fitting. It can be a little intimidating especially your first time out for a fitting. Farrell and her team are professionally trained in this area and it shows. I was and still am a shy person when it comes to undressing in front of strangers...friends for that matter too. Anyway, I find it very easy to purchase a prosthesis with Farrell and her co-workers at her shop. Even the paperwork is done in a quick and easy manner..they know their stuff. I also interviewed Farrell to find out more about what her job entails. Here, she shares what goes into the process of fitting a woman who has or has had breast cancer. Bras Outside the Box : How is fitting a customer dealing with breast cancer different from a standard bra fitting? Farrell Friedenberg : First, there are questions: did the woman have a full mastectomy or a partial (also known as a lumpectomy)? Was there any reconstruction? Any radiation treatments- even if it was years ago? Because we are a retail lingerie shop as well as a DME (durable medical equipment) provider, we fit women in all different stages of their breast cancer journey. If the woman is missing a breast, or part of a breast, we fit for a breast prosthesis as well as pocket bras. The pocket holds the prosthesis (also called a breast form) secure to the woman's chest wall and restores her former symmetry. Women who have had reconstruction can also still be uneven after the surgery. Radiation can affect the breast size even years later. And most importantly, post-mastectomy products are a covered insurance benefit . BOTB: What are the bras (and camis) you most often recommend for breast cancer and/or mastectomy/lumpectomy, and why are these your top picks? FF : Immediately following surgery, the Amoena 2105 Post Surgery Camisole (now called Michelle) is my first choice, as it has two velcro attached drain pouches and is padded with lightweight puffs for comfort. [Editor's note: see this article for an explanation of how post-surgery camisoles work.] A good basic go-to bra is the American Breast Care 103 . It has a great fit, is very soft and comfortable, and is available in an extensive size range and a variety of colors. For a smooth-cup t-shirt bra, I would recommend the Lara and Mona bras by Amoena, and the Tonya bra by Anita . In full-bust bras, the Safina by Anita is a good choice. Other products I recommend include the Amoena Valetta cami , and swimsuits by Amoena and Anita. Both companies make fashionable swimwear with pockets for breast forms. [Editor's note: see the gallery at the end of this post for photos of the above products.] BOTB : Which items available for breast cancer patients are typically covered by insurance? FF : Everyone should know their benefits. Every survivor should know where they can be fit by an in-network provider. Many women have plans that have yearly deductibles and co-pays. Some plans only provide coverage if you go to a particular provider. Typically, insurance covers the following: two post-surgical camisoles for the time immediately following surgery until they can be fit for a bra and prosthesis, which is about four to six weeks after surgery; two to four bras per year; one silicone breast prosthesis per side, every other year; and one non-silicone breast prosthesis per side, every six months. All products must be "medically necessary." Therefore, we require a new prescription every year for our files. BOTB : Is there anything else you'd like to share about your experience fitting this population? FF : As a third-generation business owner and certified mastectomy fitter, I am honored to make someone smile again. The connection we make with customers spans over three generations. We fit grandmothers, daughters and granddaughters at all stages of their lives. #breastcancer #mastectomy #lumpectomy #breastforms #prosthesis #insurance #Amoena #brafitting #Anita #AmericanBreastCare #camisoles #postsurgery #personalstories #40D

AJ: So...physically, I'm very skinny and small-chested, currently sized out on the low end not only of most bras but also most clothes. I used to be a competitive athlete, with a very different body shape as a result, so I've had a variety of fit challenges through the years, and I have plenty of Feelings about that (the strongest of which is, to misquote Shakespeare, the fault lies not with us, but with our clothes). The fit problems, along with my style preferences, have led me to sew most of my own clothes, including underwear. Because bra fitting and design is so challenging, I got pretty interested in it and started reading up--thus how I found Bras Outside the Box, Reddit's A Bra That Fits, and other resources. I'm also a bit gender-weird. I wear a variety of top-half-underwear including both compression tops/binders and "regular" bras. I don't wear anything padded, which limits my choices a lot, especially in my size range. Manufacturers seem to assume every person with a smaller chest wants mega-padding; maybe they're right, I don't know, but I seem to see a lot of women online who bemoan the fact that there aren't a lot of real-bra (as opposed to bralette) options for small-chested women who don't want to be heavily padded, especially at <$100. This is especially true in the small-band/small-bust combo, I think, unless you're both able to fit girls' sizes, with their close-set cups and straps and shallow profiles, and willing to wear girls' styles, which a lot of grown-ups aren't. Bras Outside the Box: What does "gender-weird" mean for you personally? AJ: I use that term with tongue firmly in cheek...I haven't really found a single term for my gender that feels totally comfortable. Gender-weird is just a play on "gender-queer", which is what I hear the youngsters say these days. It feels like that term belongs to a younger generation than mine. Before there was queer, there was just plain weird! In a perfect world I'd be androgynous, except that usually when people use that word, they actually mean a person of one perceived gender who's using presentation details (clothes, makeup, mannerisms, etc.) of another gender. When I say androgynous, I mean that you might look at me and think, huh, wonder whether that person's male or female. (And since we're in a hypothetical perfect world here, this thought would be followed by a shrug of indifference.) In terms of presentation in the non-hypothetical, non-perfect world, I present differently depending both on my mood and what I'm doing (bowing to social norms at work is the biggest thing that causes me to sway a bit more feminine). My personal spectrum probably centers somewhere just to the masculine side of Katherine-Hepburn-in-a-suit. BOTB: Where do you get your binders? I know next to nothing about these -- are there particular brands or sources you would recommend for others interested in trying them? AJ: So, I do have a couple of big-picture tips before I talk sources. One: safety first. Binding improperly can be dangerous to your breathing, which is no joke, so check out these guides on how to bind safely: Your Friendly Neighborhood Binding Guide Tips to Bind Your Chest Safely Binding: Creating a Male-Looking Chest Binding 101: Brands, Care Tips, and Health Two, and this might sound a little airy-fairy, but as someone who's just about old enough to qualify as an elder, my words of wisdom are: if you choose to bind, don't do it because you hate something about yourself, your body, and/or the way you look—do it as a way to love the person you are, and to manifest that person a little more visibly. You only get one physical body in this life, and it's stupid-easy to hate and abuse it for all it isn’t. The more courageous path is to use it as a tool to manifest your awesomeness in the world. All right, pep talk over; moving on. I've tried a few binding options, including compression sports bras, bandeaus, short tops, and tanks. All have advantages and disadvantages. These suckers are really tight, and therefore really hard to get in and out of. If you have arm, shoulder, neck or back injuries or immobility, I'd suggest a bandeau-style that you can fasten around your waist and then hike up. If you're a wheelchair user or spend lots of time in hard chairs, I'd suggest something with velcro on the side--those hooks and eyes are mighty uncomfortable against a chair, and pullovers require olympic-level wriggling to get in and out. In general, the easiest way to get into a pull-on binder is to pull it up your legs, rather than down over your shoulders. Again there’re lots of guides online. My personal favorite is a GC2B tank binder, which is US-made of a soft and silky material that binds well, has low-profile edges that disappear pretty well under a thick t-shirt, and isn't tooooo torturous to get in and out of. They have really good customer service as well. BlueStockings Boutique is a great source for a variety of options (not just binders, but also some in-betweens), some of which are definitely aimed at the gender-nonconforming, and it's a woman- and queer-owned business. I’ve also been eyeballing Origami Customs on Etsy, which provides hand-built gender-spectrum friendly undies, including binders and gaffs. I haven't shopped here, since I sew myself, but it’s awesome to have that resource available if you aren't feeling the mass-market options, or if they don’t work for your body for any reason. BOTB: When you look for bras, are you seeking something that works similar to a binder, or do you sometimes want to wear something without compression? AJ: I don't wear major compression all the time. I think there’s a perception that binding is an all-or-nothing deal, but it’s not. Like shaving your legs, it’s a choice you have to make over and over again! Sometimes I don't need to bind (thank you, vests and winter layers), and sometimes my chronic illness kicks up and I can't. And sometimes I don't want to! Compression can be uncomfortable, or it can feel tucked-in and secure, depending on the day. My top-undies drawer consists of binders, sports bras, camisoles, bralettes, and, yes, a couple of "real" bras. (A friend of mine calls them "big girl bras". Ha!) Sometimes I wear nothing at all, but even for my small chest, it’s not that comfortable to run, jump, or hurry in that mode, especially since I’m used to some containment. BOTB: Which bras have you found that fit and work well with your style, if any? AJ: The first time I put on a bra I’d made—it didn’t fit, of course, and was actually a bit too small, which I didn’t even think was POSSIBLE—it felt amazing. I had never put on a bra that actually touched fabric to my whole breast; my bras had always gaped or stood away from my chest somewhere. That experience convinced me to keep pursuing ‘regular’ bras as an option. Someone on reddit described that feeling as “a boob hug”, which just cracked me up. I've had no luck with ready-to-wear bras, in part because I'm picky about fit; in part because I absolutely won't wear push-ups; and in part because I have a size and shape that's really not served by the mass market. A Bra That Fits is full of complaints from my fellow small-band-small-bust people re: grading of smaller sizes, and the dearth of shallow, wide, unpadded options for smaller busts. The bras available in my size generally have wires either one or two sizes too narrow, which is very uncomfortable. 30Bs typically have wires in the 4.25-4.5" width range. Anything less than 4.75" is torturous for me, and 5" is about perfect. Add to this a bony and slightly concave sternum that means full-length wires bruise and hurt like crazy, and, yeah, I'm not very fittable in ready-to-wear. I'm very curious about the French brand Ysé, which appears to have small-size, unlined bras, but I haven't been really flush enough to order, with the potential for international returns...though perhaps now that the Euro is down I should re-think that decision! BOTB: Anything else you'd like to share about yourself or your search for a good bra? AJ: It's strange how philosophical I've been feeling about the search for an undergarment I don't even feel any particular connection to, beyond an intellectual one in the challenge of its construction. I guess my biggest lesson on bra fit is that if something doesn't fit, or if you feel like you'll never find anything, it's not because there's something wrong with your body. It's because of marketing, and statistics, and manufacturing imprecision, and a whole bucket of other factors that go into putting ready-made bras on the shelves. Not only that, but it's OK to want what you want, whether that's mash-em-flat or cakes-on-a-plate, no matter whether your physical body matches that or not, no matter if it changes over time or from day to day. Want to share your bra story? Please contact me! #genderqueer #28C #30B #binders #smallbusted #brafitting #compression #personalstories #androgynous #crossgender

I've always had issues with push-up bras. First of all, they tend to be marketed towards small-busted women who want to look bigger, and I find that problematic. Why should we look bigger? Why would we want to? Is there really any benefit in forcing cleavage we wouldn't have otherwise? This is especially true for me, as I am one of those women who can't create cleavage without also enduring significant pain. I've got wide-set breasts, and these girls require a whole lot of push in order to get anywhere near each other. In the process, I end up with wires poking me in all the wrong places and mattress-like foam padding that makes my breasts all sweaty even in cold weather. I just think it's pointless, and I'm over it. So why am I writing about this? I've noticed that there are some small-busted women, especially young women, who feel they must wear a heavily padded push-up bra every day in order to look acceptable. It's a body image thing, not a style thing. This really makes me want to shove a bunch of flattering, beautiful, whisper-thin bralettes at them and say: "Wear these, whether you feel okay in them or not, and by the end of the first day you'll realize you're fine the way you are and you deserve to be comfortable. Plus, all women have nipples and it's not a crime if they show through your shirt." But then I think, well, I don't want to push (see what I did there?) my agenda onto others who don't feel the same way. The only thing I really want to do is gently suggest that you don't actually NEED extra padding or cleavage in order to be attractive. If you like it, and it doesn't make you wish you could just get home already and rip off that monstrosity, go right ahead. Another thing I want to say about push-up bras is that, depending on the level of padding, you may need a larger cup size. You're not going to get the same extreme cleavage effect if you go up a cup, but the bra may fit better overall, and that's always a good thing. #bodyimage #smallbusted #pushup #widesetbreasts #rants #bralettes

My next bra story comes from a woman who has developed considerable expertise in bra fitting, based on her own experience as a size 36L. Danielle helps other women find their best fit through her blog, Rolls and Curves. BOTB: What are the brands that do make your size, and which bras do you wear? Danielle: The only two brands that actually make my size are Ewa Michalak and Bravissimo. I cannot wear Ewa Michalak because I have wide and short breasts, and Ewa Michalak bras are made for someone with narrow and average to tall breasts. I usually sister size into brands like Panache, Elomi, Goddess, Flirtelle, and Curvy Kate. I used to wear Cleos when I could fit into them. In the past year, I've grown from a 36J up to a 36L, so I've literally seen my options taper off before my eyes. Thus far, my favorite bras have been: Panache -- Tango, Ariza, Melody Fullcup, Rhapsody Cleo -- Marcie, Meg Elomi -- Caitlyn, Rita Goddess -- Keira Curvy Kate -- Gia, Daily Boost Flirtelle -- Lena padded bra BOTB: What are the sister sizes that sometimes work for you? D: I measure a 36L, and currently own bras in a 36K and 38JJ (with one Flirtelle padded bra in a 36JJ that I can't bear to part with). I have yet to purchase bras in my new size just in case my recent growth spurt isn't permanent and they go back to a 36K. My next step is trying out Bravissimo in a 36KK, 38KK, and 36L. BOTB: Are you happy with these bras after you've made the necessary alterations? D: I'm usually happy with my bras after I alter them, but there's some bras that couldn't be saved due to a glaring construction issue that I didn't feel comfortable fixing on my own. BOTB: Do you make the alterations yourself, or have them done by a tailor? If you alter them yourself, can you describe or show in photos what kind of alterations you make and how they are done? (Readers of a similar size and shape to you might find this helpful to know.) D: I alter all my bras myself because I can rarely keep bras in my rotation for more than a few months at a time, and I don't want to spend extra money on my bras. My usual first step with a bra is to see if the straps are fully adjustable. If they are, I don't touch them unless the tightened setting isn't tight enough. If they are not, I have to alter them to keep them from slipping off my shoulders. What I do is fold the beginning of the strap over onto itself, and sew the sandwiched fabric. This shortens the strap without having to cut it in case I need to remove the alterations. Other common alterations that I may perform are narrowing the gore (makes bra less east-west, keeps the wires from poking) and taking in gaping lace (when the lace rests above the full part of my breast and has no tissue to fill it out). I've noticed that I've had to rely on alterations more often after passing the J cup barrier, because many brands tend to scale bras horribly in the upper end of their size range. BOTB: How do you feel in the Reddit forum A Bra That Fits, wearing an unusual size? You said in response to my post requesting stories from women who wear sizes outside the mainstream lingerie market: "Finally I am relevant here." Do you feel excluded from the community because of your physical size/shape? D: While I found out about proper bra fitting from ABTF and generally love the community, I do feel more and more left out the larger my cup size is. This is not an uncommon sentiment shared by other women of "unusual" sizes, and it was even brought up many times in the demographic survey from a few months ago. The quality and quantity of advice you receive is better if you're under a 36 band, under an H cup, and have a narrow and projected shape. Many plus sized women are left to a small selection of brands, and since the average member of ABTF has little experience with these size ranges (the most common size is 30F), they may recommend a bra based on size rather than the shape of the person's breasts. At my size, 36L, I'm always told to try Ewa Michalak bras even though I'd have to size up to a 36N to get the correct cup width. There's little focus on brands that aren't on-trend, and it can be grating to constantly receive the same inaccurate advice. When I was still unsure about my size and what worked for me, I became discouraged very fast and wouldn't post fit checks on ABTF because of the limited responses I'd receive. If you have at least one bra that fits and you'd like to find more, I'd recommend comparing bra measurements on Bratabase. With time you can figure out exactly what measurements will work for you. BOTB: What motivates you to continue to look for a bra that fits, in spite of all the challenges? In other words, what makes you feel good about wearing the right bra? D: Wearing a bra that fits is a necessity for me. Before discovering ABTF, I was crammed into Lane Bryant 40Hs (UK 40G) and had a slew of health problems along with a lack of self-esteem. My back, neck, and shoulders were in constant agony, I had pimples and rashes around and under my breasts, I had huge grooves in my shoulders, my posture was horrible, and I couldn't find suitable clothing, I would come down with a migraine every day, and I hated my body. It doesn't help that I have scoliosis, so my back is already under a lot of stress. I wear bras that support me because if I didn't, I wouldn't be able to hold down a job or have any semblance of a normal life. It's extremely difficult and expensive to find the correct bra, but it's a lot easier and cheaper than going to the doctor for pain and skin conditions due to wearing the wrong bra. BOTB: Anything else you want to share about yourself or your search for a good bra? D: Even though my search for a bra has been difficult and expensive, it was so worth it to be able to feel comfortable in my skin. I never thought I'd actually learn to love my body, and while my self-esteem isn't perfect I've definitely improved since finding some decent bras in my size. It's been incredibly therapeutic for me to help other women find bras in the correct size, and blogging has opened up a Pandora's box of information about bra fitting, body image issues, and the industry itself. I definitely feel more knowledgeable about bras in general after using all my free time to research and write about them. If you're reading this and have struggled with finding bras in your size and shape, don't give up. Most women will be able to find a collection of bras to fit them. Feel free to ask for advice on A Bra That Fits, Bratabase, and any and all available resources. Sometimes it helps to get a few opinions before deciding if a bra is right for you. If you see a blogger who's a similar size and shape as you, don't hesitate to contact them. Most bloggers are incredibly warm and helpful individuals who have a true passion for helping others. Want to share your bra story? Please contact me! #36L #alterations #Bravissimo #CurvyKate #Panache #Elomi #Cleo #Goddess #Flirtelle #bodyimage #38JJ #36K #36JJ #brafitting #personalstories #EwaMichalak

Many thanks to Andrea for contributing Bras Outside the Box's first personal bra story! I hope to post many more of these. If you'd like to be included, please contact me for a list of questions. BOTB: What has been the biggest challenge for you in finding a bra that fits properly? Andrea: My problem isn't so much the bra size as it is that I am uneven, so one of the cups is always either too tight or too big. I am a full B cup on the left and barely an A on the right. When I checked my size with the calculator on Reddit, it said I should be in a 36C. I don't think that could be right though. I hate when the band feels too tight so I will probably not be trying any size 36 bras. BOTB: Have you ever felt self-conscious or had body image issues as a result of being uneven? A: Not too much because I am an athlete and that's where I get my confidence from about my body. I don't try to be sexy in the usual sense. I am a strong girl who does not need to have boobs that are the same size in order to swim or run. But having said that, there are times when I am lost with finding clothes and bras that are right for my body and it would be nice if that was not so difficult. BOTB: Do you have any tips for other readers who are built like you? Which bras would you recommend? A: What I normally do is wear a stretchy bra or bralette so the cups can fit me on both sides. I hate bras with shaped cups because then you get one with big gaps and one that is way tight. My favorite is a cotton bralette from Calvin Klein which I have three of, and I wear those a lot. I have a Wacoal b.tempt'd bralette [the Lace Kiss] that is stunning but it doesn't fit me as well, but I do wear that sometimes. I would say, if you can go braless do that, but sometimes depending on what kind of top I'm wearing it can't work. I wear a bralette about 60% of the time, and the other days I don't wear anything. Want to share your bra story? Please contact me! #personalstories #38B #unevenbreasts #CalvinKlein #btemptd

Bras Without Wires is an innovative Australian lingerie company featuring stylish, playful wire-free bras like the Annie Sparkles Checkmate (shown here on me). Founder Stephanie Devine, a breast cancer survivor, wanted to create a more fashionable alternative to the usual boring wire-free options. Bras without underwires tend to be available only in limited colors and prints, and they often have very little aesthetic appeal. Those of us who don't need or want an underwire deserve an attractive, fun selection of bras, just like women who can wear underwires comfortably, but there just isn't anywhere near as much variety in wireless styles. So obviously I love what Stephanie is doing, and I support her mission. Stephanie's Annie Sparkles line features metallic accents in silver or gold. On the Checkmate bra, the sparkly parts are the silver straps, trim, and center bow. A subtle silver thread runs through the main check pattern, although it may be hard to see in these photos. It's delightfully fun and different from anything else I've tried lately, which is definitely a good thing. I tried on a 32A in this bra, based on Stephanie's recommendation from my measurements. The fit is excellent. Although I sometimes need a 32B, I fill out these A cups fine without feeling confined by them. The 32 band is nice and snug on me, just as I want it to be, especially in a wire-free bra; otherwise, without the underwire to keep everything in place, bras without wires can ride up during the day as you move. Another feature of the Checkmate that helps it stay anchored is the three rows of hooks in back. Many bras like this only have two rows of hooks, so I appreciate the extra security that one more hook offers. The contour cups are lined with a lightweight, flexible foam layer. The tag says this is a padded bra, but it does not add size and the cups don't have graduated bump pads for push-up. All of this is fine as far as I'm concerned, but don't expect enhancement; this is a bra that lets your body be what it is, while providing just a little shaping and nipple coverage. Perhaps the description is misleading for those of us in the US who tend to assume the term "padded" means "a gigantic, unwearable mattress" (thanks, Victoria's Secret). The Annie Sparkles bra is available to order on the Bras Without Wires website. Disclosure: I received this bra in exchange for an honest review. #BrasWithoutWires #wirefree #brareviews #32A #Australia #breastcancer

I thought it would be interesting to talk to a shapewear enthusiast. My own feeling about shapewear has always been that it's designed to force a woman's body into a shape that isn't natural for her, which is not an idea that appeals to me. But maybe I need to give it more of a chance. In this interview, fellow blogger Miss M of Lingerie for Every Day attempts to help me see the light at the end of the nylon compression tunnel. Bras Outside the Box: I'm curious about why you're such a fan of shapewear. What does it do for you? Miss M: Curious as to why I like shapewear? Girl, all you have to do is look at the before and after photos on my blog! You lose a dress size, you smooth out any lumps or bumps, and you look hot in all your outfits! And oftentimes, with the right shapewear, you look extra-hot wearing it all on its own (you know, in the bedroom, with your husband, partner, wife, love-interest). I go for items that smooth everything out, but still look good all on their own. BOTB: Do you look for the same things in a bra that you are seeking in shapewear? MM: I am so lucky that at age 39, I still have a great shape when it comes to my breasts. The issue I have, and have always had, is the back rolls that generally come with having naturally large breasts. So, in shapewear, I do love something that smooths out my back, but I also love that many of the items will also target the tummy, or the bum, or the thighs. This is key if you're wearing a body-con dress (which I often like to do!). BOTB: Is a supportive bra more important to you now than it was in your teens and twenties, or were you always primarily looking for good support? MM: Since I'm a 38DD, I've always needed supportive bras. I don't ever want to be saggy (I'm sure as I age it'll eventually happen), but having a strong foundation is key to staving off the sag. I think all of the sports bras I buy are in the $100 range, because I really like to be active and run, but it can be painful without the right support in place. My favorite sports bra brand is Panache. BOTB: Do you ever find shapewear uncomfortable? Like, do you ever just want to rip it off and be free? MM: So, the thing about shapewear is there are so many kinds. On my blog, I point out the kinds that are functional - items you can wear all day, look great, and feel great, without sacrificing your circulatory function. Shapewear isn't all grandma panties and shorts up to your ears. It can be sexy, and for curvy gals like me, it can help you feel more confident in wearing something a little bit tighter than you'd normally wear. Personally, I stay away from things I want to rip off. I like being comfortable. I went to a wedding a few months ago, and every single woman in the bathroom was complaining about their Spanx. Spanx shorts can be hardcore, depending on the shaping power. If you get the high-power shapers, you probably will only want to wear them to an event that's two to four hours long. And then rip them off. And then probably never wear them again until the emotional trauma wears off. The point of my blog is to show people the good, the bad, and the ugly of shapewear -- but mostly the good and the sexy side of it. BOTB: Do you have any advice for other women with a figure similar to yours? MM: For women with figures similar to mine, I'd say to wear shaping slips under your dresses. I own about eleven of them. It just gives you a smooth silhouette. I'd advise a naturally large-busted person to be prepared to spend a lot of money on good bras - and to get fitted by a professional! And, finally, I'd say always get at least two pairs of panties that match your expensive bra. A thong and a full-coverage panty, or maybe just two thongs. #38DD #shapewear #Panache #largebust #Spanx #sportsbras

Elisabeth Dale wants to talk about your breasts. This actually isn't creepy, because Elisabeth is a self-educated breast expert who has built an entire business on this one beloved (and sometimes also hated) part of the female body. I've had the opportunity to chat with her about bras, her new book, and her passion for educating women. Bras Outside the Box : So, your first book, b00bs: A Guide to Your Girls, came out in 2007. What lead you to write a second, and what can readers expect this time? Elisabeth : My second book is part of a series of shorter guides I’m publishing over the next couple of years. The first of these guides, The Breast Life Guide to The Bra Zone: How to Find Your Ideal Size, Style, and Support, is all about navigating the wacky world of bra shopping. It addresses different stages of life, as well as style, budget, and body shape considerations. Bra buying has changed dramatically from the days when my mother took me to buy my first bra (back in the 1960s). Consumers don’t understand the realities of the bra business. For instance, most believe they are a single size (a letter cup, without considering length of band). They don’t know what sister sizing means, or how different styles of bras can change the way their breasts rest on their chest. The idea is to help readers discover and accept a more fluid "bra zone" of sizes, styles, and fashion preferences. Plus I touch on some of the major bra and breast myths, as well as covering how to shop online for a bra, wear and care, etc. BOTB : In your own experience, bra shopping was an ongoing challenge, and you ultimately had a surgical breast lift. Can you talk a little about what you went through trying to find a bra in the right size and shape for your breasts, both before and after your surgery? E : Buying a bra before surgery was a nightmare, in that I didn’t understand how bra shapes and materials made a difference. For instance, my less-full boobs just rolled around in contour bras. My breasts were completely deflated after three children and losing weight. Like most women, I blamed my body for any bra problems. I didn’t change bra sizes after my surgery and continued to wear a 34C both before and after the procedure. However, my breasts were now less shallow with less skin weighing them down, so I could get away with skimpier support. Now, some ten years after my lift, my breasts have changed again with menopause. Turns out that twenty percent of all women grow bigger boobs after menopause, and I’m one of them. Now I wear a 34DD; my breasts are again heavier with more fat and less breast tissue. I’ve had to change the kind of bra styles, sizes, and wire shapes I wear — yet again! Also, I've noticed that older women are absent from any kind of lingerie marketing. I’ve had to figure out the new bra fit rules for my almost 60-year-old female body. I’m just glad I know that a poorly fitting bra is never my fault! BOTB : What's the most rewarding thing you get out of talking to other women about their breasts? E : When I can help them feel like all breast shapes, sizes and placements are “normal.” Too many women never see breasts outside of the youthful, airbrushed, and pushed-up images in lingerie advertising. It’s only when we realize that breasts are all different (like our eye color) that we can truly appreciate our individuality. Our gift is that we are all unique. BOTB : Most of my readers are dealing with challenges related to body image, size, and/or shape, and trying to find good bras in a market that isn't targeting their particular needs. Do you have any advice for this neglected population? E : I think they need to start using social media and get more vocal about their needs. I think there continue to be pockets of underserved populations, but so much has changed — for the better — in bra fit. You couldn’t find anything over a D cup when I was a teen. Now you can find bras in size AAA to M. Brands are doing more for deep cups, breastfeeding, and post-mastectomy patients. Much of this change has come about because of the internet, and now brands can sell directly to consumers. My advice is to find a lingerie blogger who talks about or has your same issues. Talk to brands about your needs, but be realistic. If the market is too small, it’s difficult to expect a large company to mass-produce for one narrow shape/size. On the other hand, I recently heard from one of my readers (who had a single breast recon after mastectomy) that she was able to buy a gorgeous bra in her difficult-to-fit 26A size from an Etsy seller. There are ways to meet your bra needs; it just may take you a little longer if you fall outside the standard or core sizes. On the flip side, your body is constantly changing and you may find it easier to buy bras at some future point in your life. BOTB : Your success indicates that there is a need for more breast experts. Have you thought about training other women to do what you've done? E : No, that has never occurred to me. Others address breastfeeding, bra fit issues, and breast cancer, for instance. I think I may be the only one that covers all the bases on my website. That makes it both challenging and frustrating as there is so much more I’d like to discuss when it comes to breasts. It’s also one reason that I’ve started to add guest bloggers with expertise in certain areas. There’s never enough time to write all the blog posts that I want to write. #bodyimage #brafitting #34C #34DD #menopause #breastlift #experts #postsurgery

Michelle (not her real name) had surgery on her breast five months ago to remove a non-cancerous tumor. Here, she talks about what it was like to go through a lumpectomy and how she feels about her breasts now. Bras Outside the Box: When did you have your lumpectomy, and where are you now in your recovery? Michelle: The surgery took place in September of last year, 2015. As far as recovery, it's pretty much over! Surgical scars can take several years to fully heal, so I'm not counting that. The incision has faded significantly in those five months though. BOTB: Before you had the surgery, what were your concerns about what would happen to your breast? M: Mostly that it would turn out to be bad news. I had a biopsy sample taken a year prior to the surgery. It turned out to be a simple fibroadenoma. I worried that the removal of the lump would alter my breast shape in a drastic or noticeable way. The ultrasound technician said it was "slightly larger than is typical and a slightly odd shape," so I worried. But for me, that didn't happen. My breast has retained the same tissue distribution as before. It simply lost a touch of volume. It was in my larger breast so I am not bothered by the loss of volume! BOTB: Did the experience turn out the way you expected? What, if anything, came as a surprise to you? M: It more or less went as expected. When I discovered the lump, purely by accident, I stayed calm and started doing research. I let my parents know and called my health care provider. We ordered the appointment and I was examined by my primary doctor. She confirmed the position of the lump, ordered a tissue biopsy and and talked through my questions. I like to go into situations like these armed with as much knowledge as possible. I felt very well-prepared for the process, knew what to expect at each stage, and I really felt like I was in charge of the situation. BOTB: What are the challenges you have now with the way bras fit, as a result of the surgery -- if any? M: Because my breast only lost a little bit of volume, and it was the larger breast, I haven't had any issues. My tissue distribution has stayed more or less the same as well, which is perfect. All of my old bras still fit my shape! For this I feel lucky. Though, I have a suspicion that my worry about breast shape changes was just me being a little paranoid. Unless the lump was quite large or very oddly shaped I can't see a typical fibroadenoma causing a drastic shape change for anybody. BOTB: What's your favorite bra that you're wearing right now? M: Currently I've been rocking Panache Black Odette in 30G. I also have a hoard of Cleo Lillies in 32G. The bands are stretched from much love, but I still get support on the tightest hooks!... for now. BOTB: How would you like to see the lingerie market change to meet your particular size and shape? M: I'd like to see more British bra makers take on the "cakes on a plate" look. Polish bras are great for people my size and shape (narrow, projected, with even fullness). My Cleo bras give me lift, but I cannot achieve the seriously uplifted, projected, "hello boobies!" look with them. We need to see more 26-30 bands. It would also just be great if the American lingerie industry would take a page from the UK and Europe regarding standardization of sizes. BOTB: Anything else you'd like to add about yourself or your search for a good bra? M: Armed with knowledge from A Bra That Fits, I love my breasts more now than I ever have. The first time I put Cleo Lily on I cried! I am lusting after Polish bras lately but I'm scared to dive in. Finding even one bra that fits well has helped my self-esteem immensely. My nerdy t-shirts fit me again! I don't have to size up in everything for my boobs! (Previously wore a Victoria's Secret 34DDD. No support, my shirts all ended up getting very stretched out. No more!) However, there are many people both larger and smaller than I am who still experience difficulty finding support that fits. Whoever you are, take time to love yourself. I have multiple surgical scars on different areas of my body. Some people in my life choose to make comments about hiding them. I don't even think they realize they're being negative. I have learned to accept that those surgeries were necessary, important parts of my personal and medical history. They're nobody else's business! Take care of yourselves. If that means you need surgery for one thing or another to be healthy, pain-free, happy? The scars are just proof that you love yourself. This is the only body we will have. It's not perfect. Everybody hates this or that about their physical appearance. But remember all the things you've done and triumphed over in your personal life. Your body has carried you through that. Find something small you love; eventually you will start finding more and more things to love about your body as you journey through life. #30GG #32G #30G #Panache #Polish #VictoriasSecret #personalstories #lumpectomy #CleobyPanache #scars #postsurgery

Bras Outside the Box: You're transmasculine; can you say a little more about what this means for you personally? Do you identify exclusively as male? Justice: I do not. I tend to identify as transmasculine agender. However, as this is a more obscure identifier, I stick with simpler terms in non-trans circles. I prefer gender-neutral pronouns to be used when referring to me. BOTB: What do you look for in a bra, besides a good fit? J: I look for solid colors and simple lines. I do like patterns, but nothing ostentatious. Something fun, without the extra bells and whistles. I definitely prefer basics though. BOTB: Where do you shop for bras, either online or in real life? Have you ever been fitted for a bra? J: Online, typically. I have not been fitted for a bra by another person, as I prefer not to allow people into my personal space. BOTB: How has your experience with bras and lingerie changed since you realized you were trans? J: I think if anything I've become more aware of my choices. BOTB: Do you wear binders? If so, where do you get them, and what brand do you wear? J: I do! I buy these online as well. My favorite binder is by GC2b. BOTB: Anything else you'd like to share about yourself or your search for a good bra? J: Yes. Although I prefer the look a binder gives, the reason I sometimes choose to wear bras is simple. Due to the size and shape of my chest, a bra will reduce my awareness that there is something there, therefore reducing any sex dysphoria I might have. It will also help with issues like chafing, sweating, etc. #transgender #agender #transmasculine #26GG #binders #personalstories #GC2b

Becky: I'm 20, and I'm not quite sure of my bra size because I've never had one that fits properly, although I suspect it's somewhere around a 36K. I live in a small town in Canada and there aren't many places around that sell bras. The only place I've found any amount of success since junior high (middle school) is at the plus size store Penningtons. I've been able to find bras there in size 38H which are wearable, but definitely not the right size; and of course each one is over $50! It's incredibly frustrating to not be able to find a properly fitting bra. Bras Outside the Box: What was it like for you when you first went shopping for a bra in middle school? B: I remember when I first needed bras, I hated the idea, and I was really uncomfortable with it. One day (I believe in grade 5 or 6 but I can't remember which), my mother told me I needed to start wearing bras, and so I started wearing them. Originally she bought them for me. Eventually around grade 7 when I was finally more comfortable with needing to wear a bra, I started wanting bras that would look nice and be colourful. I remember a specific experience going to La Senza in our local mall. At this point I was already around a DD I think, and it was really difficult to find anything that fit right. I found one; it was black and had some kind of silver lettering on one of the cups, and I think the straps were detachable/convertible. It was nice, but not really what I wanted. Unfortunately, there weren't many bras that would fit me right, and even this one probably wasn't the right size, but the style made it sort of okay. So pretty much from the time I was comfortable enough to start wanting nice bras, I already couldn't find them in my size. BOTB: How do you feel about your breast size now, and has your body image changed since the first time you went bra shopping? B: My feelings have definitely changed. I feel really comfortable with my breast size now. When I was younger, I developed them really early, and I felt kind of different and weird. I still have the largest breasts of all my friends, but I don't have a problem with that at all. I'm incredibly comfortable with it, and my friends and I make jokes about it all the time. I never would have thought when I started out with bras that I could ever be this comfortable with my breasts, but I really am. I honestly barely even notice how much bigger mine are than other people's. BOTB: Have you ever ordered a bra online? If so, what did you try and what problems did you have with the fit? B: I have ordered bras online, but only after I've tried the same style and size in the store. Penningtons, where I used to buy bras in 38H (which is actually the wrong size), stopped selling bands as low as 38. Now they only carry bands in size 40 and up, which is definitely too large since the 38 was already not quite right. Their website still sells 38s, so I've had to order bras there to get something close to fitting. It still doesn't fit right, but it's the best I can get from this website, and I'm too nervous to try ordering other sizes from anywhere else without knowing what size I really should be. BOTB: How do you define your personal style when it comes to clothes, and what would be your ideal look in bras and lingerie if they were widely available in your size? B: My personal style is generally quite casual. I like skinny jeans and shirts that are kind of fitted, although not too tight. I don't like anything too baggy because it would just make me look like a box. I also love boots, scarves, and jackets, although I have a really difficult time finding jackets because they don't usually fit over my boobs. I also rarely wear makeup or do anything with my hair other than brush it. My ideal look in bras and lingerie would probably be something colourful. Everybody needs to have their basic nude and black colours, but I would love to have some bras in bright pinks and greens, purples, maybe some stripes or polka dots. Some lace would be nice as well, but not too much. I'm a very colourful person, so things like that would suit my personality really well. BOTB: What brought you to the Reddit community Big Boob Problems, and have you found what you were looking for there? B: I have big boobs, so I somehow came across this; I honestly don't remember exactly how. I've been around there for a long time. I don't have any particular issues that I've been looking to resolve, I just like to read about other people's experiences with larger breasts and maybe they'll happen to say something I find useful. I think it's just a good place to get educated about larger breasts, and to make it feel like a more normal thing, since most people I know don't have breasts as large as I do. BOTB: Anything else you'd like to share about your search for a bra? B: The only thing I can think of really is that within the next year, I plan on moving to a larger city, and I'm really excited for the opportunity to be able to go into a store and try on some bras, and find one that fits me properly. Want to share your bra story? Please contact me! #36K #largebust #Canada #38H #personalstories #bodyimage

The Sophia bra by Sophia Rose Intimates is an elegant new option for breast cancer survivors. It's also a good choice for any woman who wants a high-quality wire-free bra that delivers support, comfort, and style. The Sophia comes with pockets for prosthetic breast forms, making it ideal for those who have had a single or double mastectomy without reconstruction. And because the pockets lie flat against the insides of the cups, it's also suitable for women who are not using prosthetics and simply prefer to wear bras without underwires. I tried the Sophia in a 34B, as that is the smallest size currently offered (I normally wear a 32B, and I'm on the shallow side). To compensate for the extra room I knew I would have in the cups, I added silicone enhancer forms, which I tucked inside the pockets before trying it on. The enhancers I used are about half an inch thick at the fullest point and add approximately one cup, which in my usual band size would bring me to a 32C. Since one of the sister sizes of 32C is 34B, I figured this bra would be a decent fit on me with the enhancers inserted. I also fastened it on the tightest hook. There is still some extra room in the cups on top, but it's pretty close to fitting. The band feels about how I expected -- slightly loose. I think a 32B would be just about right on me. I love the embroidery and delicate lace edging. The fabric is soft on the skin, but substantial enough to hold its shape (and yours). Perhaps the most flattering feature is the vertical seaming, which divides the cups into three parts to provide structure. That's key for shaping and lift, since this bra has no underwires or side boning. Vertical seams are a softer, more flexible alternative to foam contouring inside the cups. The lack of foam also makes the Sophia more comfortable and breathable than a contour-cup bra. Like other pocketed bras I've tried, this one is full-coverage with a tall center gore and sides that come up higher under the arms than the typical bra. Mastectomy bras are often made this way in order to provide coverage for post-surgical scars. If you aren't a fan of full-coverage styles, you may find that this bra covers more skin than you'd like. But it's beautifully designed and if it were available in smaller sizes, petite women could experiment with the sizing, perhaps ordering down in the band or cup to get the best fit. As of right now, I would recommend this bra for larger-busted women who need more coverage and support. You'll get both with the Sophia, even without the underwires. Sophia Rose Intimates founders Adelene and Carolyn Tan informed me that they plan to introduce a wider range of sizes once they have the funding to do so. Unfortunately, the more sizes a lingerie company makes, the higher the cost to them. I hope they are eventually able to offer a 32B in this lovely bra so I can wear it. You can order the Sophia bra on the Sophia Rose Intimates website , in Deep Violet (shown above) or Bright Peony (pale pink). The current size range is 34B to 38D. #wirefree #SophiaRoseIntimates #breastcancer #mastectomy #34B #breastforms #lace #brareviews