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I've always had issues with push-up bras. First of all, they tend to be marketed towards small-busted women who want to look bigger, and I find that problematic. Why should we look bigger? Why would we want to? Is there really any benefit in forcing cleavage we wouldn't have otherwise? This is especially true for me, as I am one of those women who can't create cleavage without also enduring significant pain. I've got wide-set breasts, and these girls require a whole lot of push in order to get anywhere near each other. In the process, I end up with wires poking me in all the wrong places and mattress-like foam padding that makes my breasts all sweaty even in cold weather. I just think it's pointless, and I'm over it. So why am I writing about this? I've noticed that there are some small-busted women, especially young women, who feel they must wear a heavily padded push-up bra every day in order to look acceptable. It's a body image thing, not a style thing. This really makes me want to shove a bunch of flattering, beautiful, whisper-thin bralettes at them and say: "Wear these, whether you feel okay in them or not, and by the end of the first day you'll realize you're fine the way you are and you deserve to be comfortable. Plus, all women have nipples and it's not a crime if they show through your shirt." But then I think, well, I don't want to push (see what I did there?) my agenda onto others who don't feel the same way. The only thing I really want to do is gently suggest that you don't actually NEED extra padding or cleavage in order to be attractive. If you like it, and it doesn't make you wish you could just get home already and rip off that monstrosity, go right ahead. Another thing I want to say about push-up bras is that, depending on the level of padding, you may need a larger cup size. You're not going to get the same extreme cleavage effect if you go up a cup, but the bra may fit better overall, and that's always a good thing. #bodyimage #smallbusted #pushup #widesetbreasts #rants #bralettes

My next bra story comes from a woman who has developed considerable expertise in bra fitting, based on her own experience as a size 36L. Danielle helps other women find their best fit through her blog, Rolls and Curves. BOTB: What are the brands that do make your size, and which bras do you wear? Danielle: The only two brands that actually make my size are Ewa Michalak and Bravissimo. I cannot wear Ewa Michalak because I have wide and short breasts, and Ewa Michalak bras are made for someone with narrow and average to tall breasts. I usually sister size into brands like Panache, Elomi, Goddess, Flirtelle, and Curvy Kate. I used to wear Cleos when I could fit into them. In the past year, I've grown from a 36J up to a 36L, so I've literally seen my options taper off before my eyes. Thus far, my favorite bras have been: Panache -- Tango, Ariza, Melody Fullcup, Rhapsody Cleo -- Marcie, Meg Elomi -- Caitlyn, Rita Goddess -- Keira Curvy Kate -- Gia, Daily Boost Flirtelle -- Lena padded bra BOTB: What are the sister sizes that sometimes work for you? D: I measure a 36L, and currently own bras in a 36K and 38JJ (with one Flirtelle padded bra in a 36JJ that I can't bear to part with). I have yet to purchase bras in my new size just in case my recent growth spurt isn't permanent and they go back to a 36K. My next step is trying out Bravissimo in a 36KK, 38KK, and 36L. BOTB: Are you happy with these bras after you've made the necessary alterations? D: I'm usually happy with my bras after I alter them, but there's some bras that couldn't be saved due to a glaring construction issue that I didn't feel comfortable fixing on my own. BOTB: Do you make the alterations yourself, or have them done by a tailor? If you alter them yourself, can you describe or show in photos what kind of alterations you make and how they are done? (Readers of a similar size and shape to you might find this helpful to know.) D: I alter all my bras myself because I can rarely keep bras in my rotation for more than a few months at a time, and I don't want to spend extra money on my bras. My usual first step with a bra is to see if the straps are fully adjustable. If they are, I don't touch them unless the tightened setting isn't tight enough. If they are not, I have to alter them to keep them from slipping off my shoulders. What I do is fold the beginning of the strap over onto itself, and sew the sandwiched fabric. This shortens the strap without having to cut it in case I need to remove the alterations. Other common alterations that I may perform are narrowing the gore (makes bra less east-west, keeps the wires from poking) and taking in gaping lace (when the lace rests above the full part of my breast and has no tissue to fill it out). I've noticed that I've had to rely on alterations more often after passing the J cup barrier, because many brands tend to scale bras horribly in the upper end of their size range. BOTB: How do you feel in the Reddit forum A Bra That Fits, wearing an unusual size? You said in response to my post requesting stories from women who wear sizes outside the mainstream lingerie market: "Finally I am relevant here." Do you feel excluded from the community because of your physical size/shape? D: While I found out about proper bra fitting from ABTF and generally love the community, I do feel more and more left out the larger my cup size is. This is not an uncommon sentiment shared by other women of "unusual" sizes, and it was even brought up many times in the demographic survey from a few months ago. The quality and quantity of advice you receive is better if you're under a 36 band, under an H cup, and have a narrow and projected shape. Many plus sized women are left to a small selection of brands, and since the average member of ABTF has little experience with these size ranges (the most common size is 30F), they may recommend a bra based on size rather than the shape of the person's breasts. At my size, 36L, I'm always told to try Ewa Michalak bras even though I'd have to size up to a 36N to get the correct cup width. There's little focus on brands that aren't on-trend, and it can be grating to constantly receive the same inaccurate advice. When I was still unsure about my size and what worked for me, I became discouraged very fast and wouldn't post fit checks on ABTF because of the limited responses I'd receive. If you have at least one bra that fits and you'd like to find more, I'd recommend comparing bra measurements on Bratabase. With time you can figure out exactly what measurements will work for you. BOTB: What motivates you to continue to look for a bra that fits, in spite of all the challenges? In other words, what makes you feel good about wearing the right bra? D: Wearing a bra that fits is a necessity for me. Before discovering ABTF, I was crammed into Lane Bryant 40Hs (UK 40G) and had a slew of health problems along with a lack of self-esteem. My back, neck, and shoulders were in constant agony, I had pimples and rashes around and under my breasts, I had huge grooves in my shoulders, my posture was horrible, and I couldn't find suitable clothing, I would come down with a migraine every day, and I hated my body. It doesn't help that I have scoliosis, so my back is already under a lot of stress. I wear bras that support me because if I didn't, I wouldn't be able to hold down a job or have any semblance of a normal life. It's extremely difficult and expensive to find the correct bra, but it's a lot easier and cheaper than going to the doctor for pain and skin conditions due to wearing the wrong bra. BOTB: Anything else you want to share about yourself or your search for a good bra? D: Even though my search for a bra has been difficult and expensive, it was so worth it to be able to feel comfortable in my skin. I never thought I'd actually learn to love my body, and while my self-esteem isn't perfect I've definitely improved since finding some decent bras in my size. It's been incredibly therapeutic for me to help other women find bras in the correct size, and blogging has opened up a Pandora's box of information about bra fitting, body image issues, and the industry itself. I definitely feel more knowledgeable about bras in general after using all my free time to research and write about them. If you're reading this and have struggled with finding bras in your size and shape, don't give up. Most women will be able to find a collection of bras to fit them. Feel free to ask for advice on A Bra That Fits, Bratabase, and any and all available resources. Sometimes it helps to get a few opinions before deciding if a bra is right for you. If you see a blogger who's a similar size and shape as you, don't hesitate to contact them. Most bloggers are incredibly warm and helpful individuals who have a true passion for helping others. Want to share your bra story? Please contact me! #36L #alterations #Bravissimo #CurvyKate #Panache #Elomi #Cleo #Goddess #Flirtelle #bodyimage #38JJ #36K #36JJ #brafitting #personalstories #EwaMichalak

Many thanks to Andrea for contributing Bras Outside the Box's first personal bra story! I hope to post many more of these. If you'd like to be included, please contact me for a list of questions. BOTB: What has been the biggest challenge for you in finding a bra that fits properly? Andrea: My problem isn't so much the bra size as it is that I am uneven, so one of the cups is always either too tight or too big. I am a full B cup on the left and barely an A on the right. When I checked my size with the calculator on Reddit, it said I should be in a 36C. I don't think that could be right though. I hate when the band feels too tight so I will probably not be trying any size 36 bras. BOTB: Have you ever felt self-conscious or had body image issues as a result of being uneven? A: Not too much because I am an athlete and that's where I get my confidence from about my body. I don't try to be sexy in the usual sense. I am a strong girl who does not need to have boobs that are the same size in order to swim or run. But having said that, there are times when I am lost with finding clothes and bras that are right for my body and it would be nice if that was not so difficult. BOTB: Do you have any tips for other readers who are built like you? Which bras would you recommend? A: What I normally do is wear a stretchy bra or bralette so the cups can fit me on both sides. I hate bras with shaped cups because then you get one with big gaps and one that is way tight. My favorite is a cotton bralette from Calvin Klein which I have three of, and I wear those a lot. I have a Wacoal b.tempt'd bralette [the Lace Kiss] that is stunning but it doesn't fit me as well, but I do wear that sometimes. I would say, if you can go braless do that, but sometimes depending on what kind of top I'm wearing it can't work. I wear a bralette about 60% of the time, and the other days I don't wear anything. Want to share your bra story? Please contact me! #personalstories #38B #unevenbreasts #CalvinKlein #btemptd

I breastfed my son for most of his first year (he's now sixteen months old). Finding a maternity bra that fit well and felt comfortable was not easy. The main difficulty I encountered was that I produced a ton of milk, more than the baby needed, and it caused engorgement early on. I hadn't intended on using an electric breast pump, but I was in so much pain that first week that I made my husband go out and buy one so I could get some relief. Another consequence of this mega-milkfest (other than feeling like a swollen cow... sad moo) was that my breasts increased significantly in size -- I was probably up to a D cup at my biggest, and normally I am an A or small B cup. I could hardly believe how big I was, and I never actually bought any D-cup bras because it seemed totally impossible that I would stay that size for long enough to use them. I ended up in a Bravado Body Silk nursing bra in size Small, which is equivalent to a 34B-C. This is an excellent, well-made, very comfortable bra, but the fit seemed to vary depending on the time of day, how much milk my son was taking, and even how much water I drank. At times it felt too tight in the cups, and I could probably have used a Medium. BabyCentre's guide recommends buying nursing bras when you are in the 36th or 37th week of pregnancy, but for me the correct size was at least two cups bigger once I'd had the baby and started to breastfeed than it was at 37 weeks pregnant. That was probably partly due to my being small-busted to begin with, and partly because I had so much milk. I had no idea that any of this would happen when I decided to breastfeed. I don't regret the decision, but I learned that when you are on your first child and can't predict how your body will respond to breastfeeding, it's best to leave the tags on anything you buy while you are still pregnant or before your milk comes in, because you may end up a cup size (or even two) larger than you anticipated. You should be able to try on your new nursing bra once you are actually breastfeeding to make sure it fits properly. Also keep in mind that your breast size may shift, so you want cups that fit even when you are at your fullest; this means choosing a larger cup, because it's better to have a little extra room at times than to be stuck in a too-tight bra. For my next baby, I'll happily wear the Bravado Body Silk bra again, but this time I'll get the Medium just to be safe. #nursing #maternity #smallbusted #pregnant #Bravado

Naturally, one of my favorite blogs is The Lingerie Addict . I'm proud to display Cora's "Body Snark Free Zone" badge to signify my committment to tolerance, sensitivity, and constructive conversation about body image issues. This means I want my blog to be a safe place for everyone to find valuable information and support, and to share their own ideas without fear of being judged or attacked. I do encourage all visitors to speak their minds, but always in a respectful way, and any comments that don't meet this standard will be deleted. Having said that, talking about your feelings is not body snark. For example, if you say "I'm frustrated because I feel like thin women don't face the same difficulties I do as a plus-size woman," that's absolutely valid and worth talking about. What I wouldn't be okay with is something like "thin girls, shut up already about your bra fitting issues -- you have nothing to complain about." This would be an effort to silence another group of people and invalidate their experience, which I won't allow to happen here. Please let me know if you have any questions about this policy. Hopefully it will make Bras Outside the Box a more welcoming place. #bodyimage

Hey everyone! Thanks for being here. I'm thrilled to introduce my new lingerie blog, Bras Outside the Box. I created this site for women seeking bras and lingerie to meet needs that the mainstream lingerie market fails to cover. That includes those of us with unusual sizes, body proportions, and conditions that make standard bras difficult to wear. I've identified several categories that I want to focus on for product reviews, news, and other items of interest: pregnant/nursing, breast cancer/mastectomy, disabled, transgender, and hard-to-find sizes. If you fall outside of these, that doesn't mean I'm not interested in addressing your particular circumstances; feel free to get in touch and let me know more about your experience and how I can help. Some of you know me from my previous website, 32AABra, where I mainly reviewed bras in small cup sizes. I got interested in "bras outside the box" because I am very small-busted myself, and as a lover of stylish and flattering lingerie, I was frustrated with the lack of available options on the market in my size. Via 32AABra, I ended up hearing from many other women of almost every conceivable size, shape, and stage of life about the challenges they had faced in shopping for bras. It was enlightening for me to realize how many different needs women have, and at the same time, how we all share a similar wish to find lingerie that really fits properly and makes us feel beautiful. I have no personal experience with most of the categories listed above. I've been pregnant and I nursed my son for almost a year, but I have never had breast cancer and am not a transgender or disabled woman. That means I really need to hear from my readers who are living with these issues. If you would like to share your story, please use the Contact form. #smallbusted #pregnant #nursing #mastectomy #breastcancer #disabled #transgender

Some physical conditions make it painful or difficult for women to wear bras with underwires. If you are pregnant, disabled, or have recently had surgery for breast cancer, you may prefer a wire-free bra. But it can be tough to find one with adequate support and structure, especially for large busts. Bra fitting expert Ali Cudby, CEO of Fab Foundations and founder of the leading global online bra certification program FabFit Academy, says: Wired vs. wire-free bras fit somewhat differently, because wire-free bras don’t have the structure of the wire for lift and support. What that means for women is that they need the part of the bra that connects the cups (the gore) to be taller, so there’s more ability for the cup to offer the lift women love. Taller gores mean more coverage, which women don’t always love - so there’s often a trade off. Plunge bras, in order to work best, generally need to have some wire for structure. In addition to a taller center gore, look for at least three rows of hooks where the bra closes to help anchor the band. Side boning or stays can also make for a more secure fit, if you can tolerate them (they tend to be somewhat more comfortable to wear than an underwire). The Lara wire-free bra from Amoena has a substantial center gore, plus side stays and three rows of hooks. It’s a full-coverage style, making it a good fit for a wide range of bust sizes. But what really distinguishes it from similar bras that offer great support without underwires is that it's attractive, available in a variety of colors, and the smooth cups are invisible under clothing. This is one of my favorite wire-free options on the market right now (yes, I own one and I wear it regularly). #disabled #breastcancer #wirefree #largebust #brafitting #pregnant #Amoena